


Shore Leave

by Zoe Rayne (MontanaHarper)



Category: McHale's Navy (1997), The Shot (1996), seaQuest
Genre: Crack, Early Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-06-05
Updated: 1998-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:59:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MontanaHarper/pseuds/Zoe%20Rayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a completely bizarre piece of fluff that was written to satisfy a challenge on the Joxerotica list. The challenge elements are: two Ted Raimi characters, one Bruce Campbell character, water, ice cream, a foreign language, a movie, red boxer shorts with yellow happy faces, and less than 500 words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shore Leave

**Author's Note:**

> **AO3 A/N:** This is an example of my very early fanfic. For historical purposes I'm leaving it as it was originally posted, including the summary. Even if a lot of it makes me cringe now.

Tim O'Neill looks down into his lover's lust-filled eyes and tenderly brushes a lock of brown hair from the man's forehead.

"Ah, _mi querido_ ," he whispers, " _du bist sehr schoenes_. _J'taime, meine klein lisitsa_."

He bends down to kiss the other man, his lips pressing gently until the other's mouth opens to allow him access. Virgil moans beneath him, the sound sending fingers of fire to dance along the length of his throbbing cock.

" _Veux-tu faire le pompier, mon chaud-lapin? Ou veux-tu baiser en levrette_?" he asks, desire plain to read on his expressive face.

He toys with the edge of Virgil's red boxer shorts, their yellow happy-faces making him smile, but not half as much as the gigantic erection that strains at the fabric.

He presses a kiss to his lover's pert nipple and wishes he had more than 48 hours of shore leave.

Suddenly, the door slams open. The glass of water that sits on the bedside table tumbles to the floor, spilling its contents onto Tim's uniform.

Virgil sits up, his eyes aflame with the anger of a denied lover. "Who the hell are you?" he yells.

The man in the doorway starts to reach for his inside jacket pocket, then realizes his right hand is holding his gun. Quickly, he juggles the revolver to his left hand, balancing it awkwardly with a mint-chocolate-chip double-dip ice cream cone. The wallet he pulls from his pocket is a simple, flip-type and it contains a badge.

"Detective Corelli," he says. "LAPD. I've followed you," he nods at Tim, "all the way from Los Angeles to San Ysidro, so you might as well tell me--what have you done with Egoman's movie?"

* * *

**Translation:  
** _mi querido_ \-- my love (Spanish)  
 _du bist sehr schoenes_ \-- you are beautiful (German)  
 _j'taime_ \-- I love you (French)  
 _meine klein_ \-- my little (German)  
 _lisitsa_ \-- fox (Russian)

The following was entirely in French (because that's what I'm most familiar with) and says (approximately--I'm **_so_** rusty!):  
 _Veux-tu faire le pompier, mon chaud-lapin?_  
Do you want to blow me, my sex maniac?  
 _Ou veux-tu baiser en levrette?_  
Or do you want to fuck doggy-style?  
(Literally, " _chaud-lapin_ " translates as "hot rabbit" and " _baiser en levrette_ " translates as "fuck like a greyhound bitch". Don't you wish **_your_** French classes were this thorough?)


End file.
